What If The Cable Guy In Porn Was From Time Warner Cable?

(CollegeHumor.com)

Before you do any kind of clicking away on the video below, please be aware that the content we’re about to laugh over is totally NSFW by way of some heavy breathing, sexytime noises, bad language and because while there’s no nudity, it looks like the setup for a real porno instead of just a comedy video. So really, NSFW, watch it with headphones on and maybe where no one can see your screen.

Now for the fun stuff: Over at CollegeHumor.com they’ve done a hilarious job of setting up a pornesque short, complete with brawny guy and scantily clothed pretty blonde with a come-hither look in her heavily mascara-ed eyes.

But the while the lines are just as cheesy and awful as any you’ve ever heard in a porn, the script’s comedic brilliance lies in how closely it mirrors what an actual Time Warner Cable technician might say.

Here’s a little taste to get you started (you have to watch the rest because we don’t want to spoil it for you):

Time Warner Cable guy to Scantily Clad Blonde Customer: I’m here to service you.

Scantily Clad Blonde Customer: You’re a little late…

TWCG: I said I’d come anytime between 8 and 5, which means I’ve still got five minutes.

SCBC: Good, because I need this bundle [cut to shot of crotch, obvs].

TWCG: You’re going to have to take all of it, even the parts you don’t care about.

SCBC: Sounds like a huge package.

TWCG: It barely works.

And it gets even better.

Watch the rest below and beware, beware, the pec-flexing hold music and NSFW language.

Shorts / If The Cable Guy In Porn Was From Time Warner [CollegeHumor.com]

(H/T Gizmodo)

by Mary Beth Quirk via Consumerist